Making choices – raising sails.

I’ve done it now. Thrown all lines of security over board, begun to raise my sails. Given in to a deep felt need for adventure. For living.

We were sailing on the Baltic sea, headed toward Stockholm after a mini-cruise to Helsinki last Monday. The sun was slowly descending on the horizon; everything was still.

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Yet, I was struggling. Struggling with the fact that it felt like I was walking right into a trap, that I was being led to the slaughter house. However much I tried, I couldn’t escape the feeling that returning to my studies at university to finish my bachelor’s degree was perhaps what my mind and all the norms of society was dictating – but it was not what my body was telling me was right.
Caught between a rock and a hard place, what do you do?

Well, I looked my fear in the eye. After days upon days of listening to thoughts telling me that not returning would be “a failure”.  But, I questioned, a failure for whom? Obviously, not for me. Otherwise my body would not react so strongly to this. And in this reaction it also became evident how long and how much I had really struggled with making this decision. I had run from it long enough. Several years to be exact.

Enough was enough.

But now what?

I don’t know. Yet. But it feels right. True.

 

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2 thoughts on “Making choices – raising sails.

  1. Pingback: 10 Dreams for March… | Charlotte Luxhoej.com

  2. Pingback: On digging up our forgotten dreams. | Charlotte Luxhoej.com

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